On this day ten years ago, my day started just like any other would. But that soon would change...
I jumped out of bed at 7 am on that Thursday morning, and scurried to get ready for school. After throwing my maroon GGCA shirt on with the checkered uniform skirt, I raced down the stairs, into the kitchen; ready for breakfast. Excited to get to school to see my friends, just like any 10 year old would be. Little did I know that in just a few short minutes that excitement would suddenly, and quickly turn into heartache, and tears. Why? Well because something tragic happened that would change my life, and my families forever.
I saw my Nana and Papa's long, sad faces - I crawled up onto my Papa's lap looking at him, then at my Nana's. I softly asked "What's wrong?" They kept quiet until my 8 year old brother, Daniel came downstairs. He sat on my Nana's lap, and asked the same question I had asked a brief moment before - "What's wrong?" Their answer is one that I'll never forget - My Nana started, "Your cousin Josiah, and his friend Joey.."; she paused for a moment. My papa picked up her sentence, "were in a car accident on their way to a trip for the Church..they went home to be with Jesus."
I looked at them with disbelief for a second, and then it hit me. The tears came pouring out of my eyes. Uncontrollably.
I didn't know Joey, and I didn't know my cousin, Josiah all to well either. I didn't understand why something could hurt so bad when I barely knew someone. I just knew it hurt.
As the tears continued to run down my face, my hazel colored eyes quickly turned to red - blood shot eyes. I couldn't make it stop. I was a mess. I hadn't felt this broken since my parents divorce. I didn't like feeling this way, not again.
The big church clock that sat across the street from our house, struck 8 am. I knew it was time for us to leave for school, but how could I? I looked as if I were preparing for an audition for a Zombie Film. It wasn't a pretty sight. So with my blood-shot eyes and snot filled sleeves - I asked to skip school so I could be with my "Veader Family" who was gathering at the church. To no surprise, the answer was "Yes".
I had no capacity to change out of my uniform. So instead I took off my rather disgusting snot and tear filled jacket, and put on a clean one. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun.
I was as ready as I could ever be for what this day on October 20th, 2005 held.
In the car, and on the road for our 10 minute drive to the campus of Greater Grace World Outreach.
We arrived promptly at 8:17 am - I remember cause I looked at the clock on the dashboard of my Papa's White Dodge truck before getting out. I walked into my classroom to give my 5th grade teacher, Ms. Homm a fair heads up that I would not be attending class that day. She saw my puffy, swollen red eyes and had no hesitation into giving me a hug, and said she'll be praying.
I then made my way down to the chapel. I wasn't sure what to expect. I just knew I wanted to find my Dad, and hold him tight. But before I found him, I found my Aunty Thea, Josiahs' mom. She was falling apart. She looked worse then I did. I wasn't sure what to do, what to say. There was a line of people waiting to hug her, to give words of comfort. I stood in line.
I finally reached the front of the line. I had no words - I just hugged her tight. She sobbed in my shoulder. She pulled back, and just looked at me. I said "I Love You Aunty Thea". She nodded with a small smile on her face, she wanted to say it back but I could tell she had no strength to say those three words.
After that moment - everything is a blur that day. The next thing I remember is going to my Aunt Rita's house, signing Josiahs' casket that my family had built. The entire family was there writing their last words for Siah' in different colors of Sharpies.
After that, I don't remember much until about four years later.
The next thing I remember is on the 4th anniversary of his passing. October 20th, 2009 - I was sitting in my room, thinking back on that day in 2005. I decided to google his name to see if I was able to find anything about Siah' because I was eager to discover more about my cousin. There wasn't too much information, but I did find an archived Bible Study Message from just a couple of days after the accident.
I downloaded it. Listened to it. And sobbed with not just sadness, but with joy - it was such a beautiful tribute to both Josiah and Joey. It brought joy to know they were so loved, and now home with our Father.
My cousin Matt spoke at the Study - his words still ring in my ears everyday. He was just a teen at the time but filled with such tender words, and a beautiful love for God. I listen to that Bible Study every year on October 20th. It's something I'll always cherish.
There was a note found at the scene, written by Joey that said "It's Worth It All". I remember first hearing those words from my cousin Matt about 5 years ago when I was 15 - going on 16. We were driving to the White Marsh Mall for Sunday Outreach - I was sitting in the front seat next to him, and there was a piece of paper on his steering wheel that said those words, "It's Worth It All". I asked what it meant?
He smiled at it and said "Joey had written that on a post it, it was found at the scene of the accident. So, this is an actual copy of that post-it."
I still ask myself what the words "It's Worth It All" mean but that is for another post. For now, I'll leave those words to be stirred around in your own heart.
Josiah Caron and Joey LaFlamme, you'll be forever loved, and forever missed.
October 20th, 2005 - A day that will never be forgotten.
As the tears continued to run down my face, my hazel colored eyes quickly turned to red - blood shot eyes. I couldn't make it stop. I was a mess. I hadn't felt this broken since my parents divorce. I didn't like feeling this way, not again.
The big church clock that sat across the street from our house, struck 8 am. I knew it was time for us to leave for school, but how could I? I looked as if I were preparing for an audition for a Zombie Film. It wasn't a pretty sight. So with my blood-shot eyes and snot filled sleeves - I asked to skip school so I could be with my "Veader Family" who was gathering at the church. To no surprise, the answer was "Yes".
I had no capacity to change out of my uniform. So instead I took off my rather disgusting snot and tear filled jacket, and put on a clean one. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun.
I was as ready as I could ever be for what this day on October 20th, 2005 held.
In the car, and on the road for our 10 minute drive to the campus of Greater Grace World Outreach.
We arrived promptly at 8:17 am - I remember cause I looked at the clock on the dashboard of my Papa's White Dodge truck before getting out. I walked into my classroom to give my 5th grade teacher, Ms. Homm a fair heads up that I would not be attending class that day. She saw my puffy, swollen red eyes and had no hesitation into giving me a hug, and said she'll be praying.
I then made my way down to the chapel. I wasn't sure what to expect. I just knew I wanted to find my Dad, and hold him tight. But before I found him, I found my Aunty Thea, Josiahs' mom. She was falling apart. She looked worse then I did. I wasn't sure what to do, what to say. There was a line of people waiting to hug her, to give words of comfort. I stood in line.
I finally reached the front of the line. I had no words - I just hugged her tight. She sobbed in my shoulder. She pulled back, and just looked at me. I said "I Love You Aunty Thea". She nodded with a small smile on her face, she wanted to say it back but I could tell she had no strength to say those three words.
After that moment - everything is a blur that day. The next thing I remember is going to my Aunt Rita's house, signing Josiahs' casket that my family had built. The entire family was there writing their last words for Siah' in different colors of Sharpies.
After that, I don't remember much until about four years later.
The next thing I remember is on the 4th anniversary of his passing. October 20th, 2009 - I was sitting in my room, thinking back on that day in 2005. I decided to google his name to see if I was able to find anything about Siah' because I was eager to discover more about my cousin. There wasn't too much information, but I did find an archived Bible Study Message from just a couple of days after the accident.
I downloaded it. Listened to it. And sobbed with not just sadness, but with joy - it was such a beautiful tribute to both Josiah and Joey. It brought joy to know they were so loved, and now home with our Father.
My cousin Matt spoke at the Study - his words still ring in my ears everyday. He was just a teen at the time but filled with such tender words, and a beautiful love for God. I listen to that Bible Study every year on October 20th. It's something I'll always cherish.
There was a note found at the scene, written by Joey that said "It's Worth It All". I remember first hearing those words from my cousin Matt about 5 years ago when I was 15 - going on 16. We were driving to the White Marsh Mall for Sunday Outreach - I was sitting in the front seat next to him, and there was a piece of paper on his steering wheel that said those words, "It's Worth It All". I asked what it meant?
He smiled at it and said "Joey had written that on a post it, it was found at the scene of the accident. So, this is an actual copy of that post-it."
I still ask myself what the words "It's Worth It All" mean but that is for another post. For now, I'll leave those words to be stirred around in your own heart.
Josiah Caron and Joey LaFlamme, you'll be forever loved, and forever missed.
October 20th, 2005 - A day that will never be forgotten.
